How Do We Defeat the Enemy Within?

The writing is always on the wall when we seek an answer to a dilemma.  Sometimes we may find it while we watch TV and other times we may find it in a conversation.  Walking past a shelf of books, a title jumps out at us.  Searching for one thing, we find another clue to a riddle of our lives.  There are many circumstances and events that lead to the answers we seek.  "What should I do?  Where should I go?  Who should I go with?"  After receiving the answers that we seek, some of us will do the following: nothing, keep praying even though we already know the answer, ask others what they think, procrastinate while being critical of others, and anything else to get out of working on ourselves and our situations.  Here is where the problem lies.  It is at the moment of indecision on something we already know the answer to that we become our own worst enemy!

People smoke knowing they shouldn't.  People steal knowing they may get caught.  People eat foods that are unhealthy for them knowing they have health conditions.  People take chances having unprotected sex knowing that they can get a disease.  What all of these examples have in common is a stubborn will; therefore, making one his or her own worst enemy!  Someone refuses to do what is right, necessary, and essential to their mental, spiritual, and physical well-being.  They will lie, "I didn't eat that much."  They will cry, "I don't know why this is happening to me, I am always good to everyone."  They will argue, "You don't know what you are talking about.  Look at your life, who are you to judge?"  Do you see the foolishness in these statements?  Are you guilty for acting like a fool?

I have very little patience with people who aren't honest.  They will sit back and listen to your confession stories, all the while knowing that they are battling with their own issues, and then they dare to advise you!  I say “dare,” because if you find out what they are hiding, they have just become a victim of your wrath.  Woe to the person who has befriended someone who has the power over his or her destiny!  From firing a dishonest employee to ending a relationship with a cheater, if you are the one in power whatever you do you will have to do it quickly before your personal demon takes over and changes your mind!  You see, sometimes we keep others from progressing toward their destiny, because we just can't seem to defeat the wishy-washy enemy within us to help someone else!  How many times did you change your mind on a situation that was actually bad for your health?  How many times did your inner “enemy” talk you out of doing what was right to do what was wrong?  These are classic examples of the enemy within hard at work on you.  Keeping you up late at night, making you work so much until you get sick, causing you to argue with your loved ones, and blocking you from the good things in life!

We all have a past riddled with pain and whenever someone hurts us we are reminded of those negative events that have happened to us with other people.  If we didn't resolve those issues like we should have when they happened or sought the help we needed once we realized we had issues, we take our problems out on those around us!  Then later we feel guilty wishing we never said what we said or did what we did.  Sometimes it's too late to fix the damage we have caused and then we become angry at the person rather than handle the issues within ourselves.  "It's her fault the reason why I can't get ahead!"  No, it’s your fault that you allowed someone to hold you back.  "He's to blame for my being unhappy."  No, how about you are to blame for ignoring the signs from family and friends that said, "Don't date him he's trouble!"  So you see, we are our own worst enemy!  We bring things on ourselves then hate everyone while secretly despising what we see in the mirror.  You can always tell who is in love with themselves and who hates themselves just by the way they behave.  People who are in love with themselves always have something great to talk about and it is usually about them.  People who hate themselves are always talking about what everyone else is doing and what everyone else is saying.  There are always some exceptions to the rule, but for most people, who are at war with themselves, behave in this way.

I have had my share of experiences with people who want to take their frustrations out on me for things they should have taken care of long ago.  I had a relative angry with me, because the doctor told him he had to lose weight.  When I showed him what he had to do to follow doctor's orders, he started mouthing off about how he only eats a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  He bragged about the few times he walked around a park and promised that he would lose weight once he got outdoors and started working.  So I guess it's my fault for trying to help since at one point I struggled with a similar issue?  Listen people, wake up and look at yourself in the mirror.  Blame yourself don’t take your anger out on those trying to help.

I had another experience with a long-time friend; she was under the impression that I was being evasive about spending time with her.  The truth of the matter, which I did share with her, was that I was on vacation myself, I didn't want to be bothered with her children and I had even less interest in being around her husband, I just wanted to be with her!   So it's my fault for being honest?  How about maybe she felt guilty about all the other times she promised to see me including some time ago when my father was deathly ill and she never bothered to call me the whole time I had been in town.  Maybe she forgot about that, I didn't.  Sometimes we have a way of pushing people out of our lives when we are dealing with an enemy of guilt and then finding fault with them because of our own personal dilemmas. 

If we don't get free from these enemies within, then we can only expect the same results in our personal and professional relationships.  The man who can't seem to take his eyes off pornographic material needs help.  The woman who keeps lying to her husband about how much she paid for her wardrobe needs help.  The children who keep stealing from their parents need help.  Once we get our demons handled, we need to help those who are struggling just like we did, rather than passing judgment, calling names, and picking up the phone gossiping about hurt people.  Speaking of, I am so tired of these self-righteous people sitting in churches acting as if they have been holy all of their lives!  These are the same people who usually receive some of the worst wake up calls.  You see anyone who claims that they are an ambassador for the creator of the universe, better have every "t" crossed and every "i" dotted!  God has an interesting way of doing the following to the proud and the boastful:  he makes examples out of them and puts their personal battles on display for the world to see, inconveniences them so that they have to give their money and time to the very ones they have been gossiping about, allows them to have bad illnesses that even the doctors are puzzled about, and even worse causes them or their children to die unexpectedly.  If you don't believe me, read your Bible for plenty of examples. Five things that one who is battling severely with a personal challenge can do now are as follows.

First, list what your issues are and how you intend to handle them.  By doing this exercise, you are brainstorming, seeking answers that can best help you cope.  No one knows you better than yourself.

Next, find an individual or support group, who isn't related to you, that will allow you to speak about your struggles.  You don’t want relatives telling others about your inner struggles.  Take heed to the advice you receive from your counselor(s) and do it.

Third, if you don't have a faith, get one.  Everyone needs something bigger than themselves when they keep struggling year after year with their same inner demons.

Fourth, practice what you preach!  As you learn and see yourself making advancements, you should be helping others.  When you assist others, it keeps you accountable.  You are less likely to make a fool of yourself when you know the world is watching!

Lastly, take the time to journal your progress.  Whether you choose to video yourself talking about your ordeals or pen your thoughts down, this helps you progress and it is a great way to look back at how far you have come! In summary, remember that every dilemma in your life you are always given an answer. It's just up to you to accept it and proceed to the next step without excuses, blame, and criticisms.  Otherwise, you will become your own worst enemy! Also, keep in mind to be open and honest when it's time to confess what your personal struggles are to the one that can help you.  Once you are well, be a blessing to others and help them heal too!