Expecting a Child? Another Added Stress to An Already Difficult Relationship

If you would have known that your relationship to your man or woman of your dreams would end up like this (stressed, challenged, difficult, etc.) after having children, you would have never had them (at least not with him or her.)  Let's be honest, how many people out there in cyberworld have felt this way a time or two since having children with the love of your life?

I was in my early thirties when I started feeling this way.  I started fantasizing about what life might have been like had we both agreed not to have a family during those early days of dating.  But I think between the two of us, deep within, we were open to the possibility even if we weren't ready for a baby when it came.

So it happened one day, our lives would be turned completely upside down, news a baby was on the way!  We would discover that all those rainy days in between the sheets would create our mini-me.  My date turned husband (later ex) would be surprised and I wasn't happy.  That's right, I said I wasn't happy.  I was so upset with myself!  How did I slip up!  A mere 24 years old and just getting my feet wet in the world traveling and enjoying my freedom from strict parents and now this!

There are some people reading this today that may one day get that unanticipated news, like I did, and they won't be happy.  Days, weeks and months later the stress of knowing that "we are pregnant" will start to take it's toll if you let it.  A challenging relationship from the start won't make matters any better either!  The arguing, silent treatment, disrespect, you name it might increase or settle down until the baby is born depending on the couple.  My ex would start looking for someone else in the dating ads to take trips with while I was pregnant.  Meanwhile, I would sit at home on weekends crying, sometimes too sick to go anywhere.

My experience of bringing a child into the world was nothing like the movies.  There was no one congratulating me, not even my own mother.  She stopped talking to me for over a week, so that she could digest the thought of being a grandma which she told me soon after she got the news, "Tell the baby to call me Nana once he/she is older.  I don't like grandma."

My ex's parents weren't all that happy either especially his mother who was a leader in the church.  What would people think, "Her son had a baby out of wedlock!?"  Those invites to church during the early days of dating her son had come to an end.  So much for representing a forgiving Christ.

With the temptation to cheat lurking with my future baby's father and the sadness I felt about having a baby, I could only hope that there was a God who was listening back in 1999.  I took all my issues to my heavenly Father, because there was no man or woman who could help me through my confusion about bringing a baby in the world.  I was even asked by a nurse, "Would you like to abort this baby?  I'm sorry but by law we have to ask."  What!? 

So if you are a woman or man who is struggling with the idea that you are going to become a parent, may I say this, remember that whatever memories you create now and in the future concerning your unborn child, they will stick with you for the rest of your life.  In addition, there will be those in your family who just might repeat how you reacted to the news that you were going to have a baby to your child one day when he or she grows up.  Wouldn't it make your child feel so good to know that daddy and mommy weren't ready to have a baby and actually felt bad about what they had done?  It isn't too late to start faking a smile, acting appreciative for the gifts and kind words people will give you, while praying to your heavenly Father for some wisdom and peace of mind.  Also, keep in mind that the woman or man you might not like much these days will always be your child's father or mother so the very least we can do is respect him or her for that.